To Be Happy You Have To Learn To Get Away From Certain People

Getting away from certain people improves physical and emotional health. In fact, it can be said that to be happy we need to distance ourselves from conflicts caused by people who absorb our energy and cancel out our ability to react.

To be free and feel good we need to get away from the emotional destruction, instability and uncertainty caused by those people who make our emotional capacity sick and who distort our sensitivity.

In this sense, it is essential that we know that, to achieve this,  we have to prepare ourselves to ignore those people we thought we knew. We must realize that living subject to their demands, judgments and behaviors only intoxicates us.

What others think of you is their reality, not yours

In this sense, we must be aware that throughout our journey we are going to meet people who do not know how to respect the feelings, thoughts and beliefs of others.

The usual thing is that we feel used as puppets of the bad humor of others, as well as the center of the target of frustration that derives from their internal and external conflicts.

It is likely that we feel that these people “do not live or let live  . ” We will realize that they are holding back our development, yours and the growth of a relationship that could have been healthy but is poisoning itself.

However, they may not even be aware of the discomfort they generate. Nor that they can be drowning others without hardly questioning whether what they do or feel is harmful or not.

This happens because they themselves are subjected to the spiral that their own problems have created.  Therefore, they are immersed and strongly trapped in that current from which it is only possible to get away with great effort and awareness.

You have to get away, take an emotional distance

We cannot always physically distance ourselves from the people who make our daily lives difficult. They can be, for example, being family members, co-workers or people who are very present in our environment.

However, even though we sometimes desire physical distance, what really makes the difference is emotional distance. That is why we must work to move away from their capacity for action and thus avoid being influenced by their behaviors and attitudes towards us. But how do we do it?

Take advantage of anticipation

You know where the reactions of the person in question are likely to go. So take advantage that you know their intentions and protect yourself.

Raise the bar when it comes to giving credit to others

Don’t give credit to comments that are entirely malicious. You know that they do not contribute anything and that they only seek to damage for free.

At this point, we bring you a traditional Socratic teaching that offers us the possibility of filtering the comments of others and our own. This is stated in this study by the University of Chile.

“The young disciple of a wise philosopher comes home and says:

–Master, a friend was talking about you with malevolence …

-Waiting! The philosopher interrupts him. Did you make what you are going to tell me go through the three filters?

“The three filters?” – he asked his disciple.

-Yes. The first is  the truth . Are you sure that what you want to tell me is absolutely true?

-Not. I heard him comment to some neighbors.

“At least you will have put it through the second filter, which is  goodness .” What you want to tell me, is it good for someone?

-No, not really. Unlike…

-Ah, well! The last filter is  necessity . Is it necessary to let me know what worries you so much?

“To tell the truth, no.”

“Then,” said the wise man, smiling, ”  if it is not true, neither good nor necessary, let us bury it in oblivion”

Manage your expectations

Sometimes we expect so much from others that we are unable to accept reality as it is. In this sense, we must allow ourselves to “ignore” all those people from whom we expect a lot and who constantly disappoint us.

This will also allow us to reassess our hopes for others. Hopes that can be very demanding, very partial and even tainted by great discomfort.

Once you manage to filter out bad actions, you will focus your attention on your growth opportunities and you will stop sapping your strength as a result of the toxicity of the environment.

Keep perspective to achieve indifference

When you begin to feel that you have gotten off the emotional roller coaster that trapped you, you will be able to separate your concerns from those that that person or that environment that you are trying to detach from has infected you.

Then you will free yourself from the insecurities and the disproportionate reactions that their conflicts have caused in you. Once that point is met, your mind will clear and you will be in a position to expose your feelings, your fears and your thoughts.

This effort will have a quick result as soon as we become aware of the need to get away from certain people. Life is so fleeting that it is not worth submitting ourselves to unnecessary anguish. Therefore, love the people who do you good and distance yourself from those who do not.