Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Is Like Waiting For The Train At The Airport

Love and breakdown have filled books and inspired many artists in their works. Human beings enjoy and suffer in their personal relationships, especially when loving is fruitless.

Expecting others to give us what we believe we deserve can be a double-edged sword. In addition, not facing the rejection or indifference of a person correctly can lead to emotional problems.

If the focus of your illusions does not correspond to you, do not worry, what you feel is normal and will pass by if you help yourself to overcome it. The following article will try to make you think about it.

The one-way link

Humans establish social and loving bonds throughout our lives. These links can be stronger or weaker depending on various factors such as compatibility between people or personal circumstances.

Sometimes, there are relationships in which there is only one participant, who projects a series of expectations towards the desired person. From there two things can happen:

• The link becomes bidirectional and the person corresponds to us.
• We suffer rejection or emotional indifference from the other person.

Each option will generate different alternatives, reactions and emotions. The first door in this case leads to the emotional flowering of perhaps a new partner. While the second constitutes a much less positive option for those who had decided to love the other person.

Let’s consider it as a duel

That second door, opened after an emotional rejection, often involves intense emotions such as anger, sadness, guilt … These are normal reactions and will last a while if the grieving processes are carried out correctly.

Why do we talk about grief? Well, the fact is that all loss grieves for humans. In this sense, losing something that we appreciate generates a characteristic feeling of vulnerability in which we can distinguish different phases, as stated in this study by the National Autonomous University of Mexico.

• Denial. During this phase the person reacts in the form of a blockage in which what has happened is not accepted.
• Go to. Negative emotional reactions then appear with feelings of anger, hostility, resentment and even betrayal.
• Pact / negotiation. The person tries to negotiate the guilt function with himself. We tend to reconsider about the aspects that may have failed.
• Depression. The person enters a phase of introspection where feelings of grief and loss are accentuated. They may lose the desire to love again and to do activities that they like.
• Acceptance. Finally, the person faces reality and accepts it without interfering with his life.

Many times these phases are not obvious to the naked eye nor do they have a fixed duration. But if you have suffered a heartbreak it is possible that you have felt or are feeling something similar to what is described.

How do I get accepted?

As we have said, these are very individual processes that develop better or worse depending on personal factors. Wanting and being rejected can be better coped if you take into account some aspects.

Take your time

Although hindering the phases towards acceptance by holding on to feelings and ideas that do not conform to reality does not benefit you, you must always respect the times of each person. Depending on how we find ourselves and our personal circumstances, we will be able to face situations with greater or lesser ease.

In that sense, it is important that you respect yourself and let the processes occur naturally. Wanting can be an easy act, it is even said that you can “love at first glance”; but to stop loving someone is something more complex.

Love yourself

Loving someone should not interfere with what you love yourself. In that sense, it may help you to support yourself in what is called in the field of psychology the “practice of self-compassion.” This philosophy is based on being kind to ourselves and offering ourselves compassionate treatment.

We offer you two simple exercises that you can practice when you feel like you are treating yourself hard:

• Just take . Hugs are calming and therapeutic gestures, if you have no one at hand to ask for a hug, just hug yourself. Try to feel your compassionate touch and accept the emotions that you are feeling.
• Accept sadness. Although sadness is always negative, it is an emotion that serves to alert us that we have lost something and we need to reflect. It also alerts our environment that we need help or support.
• Change paper. Imagine that your problem is told by a friend and you offer yourself the treatment that you would give that person. You probably wouldn’t treat her as harshly as yourself.
• Seek social support. If the pain in any of the phases is very intense, find someone in your environment willing to support and listen to you. Sometimes just talking about it can help you.

See also: Tips to strengthen self-esteem